


Self Care

by Jeyfeather1234



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: 13 has never known a healthy coping mechanism in her entire life, 13 listens to heavy metal you can't change my mind, Gallifrey, Gallows Humor, Present Tense, Self-Medication, Substance Abuse, ginger is essentially alcohol for Time Lords, she needs a lot of therapy, why did 13 even have ginger-spiked candy in the first place??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22903615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeyfeather1234/pseuds/Jeyfeather1234
Summary: Cancelling plans is okay. Retraumatizing yourself by visiting your destroyed planet by yourself which you haven't told your friends about is okay. Listening to heavy metal and getting high off ginger at said planet is okay. Denying that you're going through an existential life crisis and convincing yourself that you're fine is okay. Do what you need to do to cope.13's a stubborn mule and thinks her coping mechanisms are healthy.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54





	Self Care

**Author's Note:**

> This was going to be angsty but it turned into...something else. Idk what this is actually.

The Doctor stares in numb silence at the ruins before her. The hot wind blows her hair back as she unwraps a ginger-spiked humbug and pops it into her mouth. From her stop at the entrance of the ship, the TARDIS plays "Descent" by Fear Factory to drown out the thoughts in her head as the pillars cast a soft, blue glow over the center of the ship. She savors the spicy taste of the candy as it crunches between her teeth. She opens the bottle of ale with her sonic and tosses the cap into the red earth below her. The Doctor downs the cold beverage and leans her head against the wall of the TARDIS, a small smile creeping up on her face as the edges of her vision start becoming distorted. A soft sigh escapes her lips and she envisions smoke blowing from her lips. How long had it been since she'd done that? She doesn't remember. She should probably start again sometime soon. The song playing from the console ends and is replaced with aggressive guitar strumming and angry non-verbal growls and screams. A chuckle escapes her as she digs her fingers into the charred earth beneath her. She feels a bone but doesn't dwell on it. Can't let bad thoughts ruin her high and give her a bad trip this time. "Self care," she reminds herself in amusement and decides to lay in the dirt after tossing the bottle away. The ground beneath her thrums rhythmically to the beat of the song. She fixates her gaze on the breathing mountains next to the TARDIS and grins. The crystals inside the Type 40 resign to their default yellow glow, making her content for a moment.

When an unknown amount of time passes, she gets up and brushes the dust from her hands, hair, and clothes before heading back inside. She washes herself, returns to the console, and shifting gears to head back to where she'd dropped off the fam. She checks her reflection in the mirror, congratulates herself for not looking stoned, and opens the TARDIS doors. She could get used to this, she thinks. Just so long as the fam doesn't notice, she should be fine. She _is_ fine. In fact, she's doing great. She's fantastic, fucking superb, absolutely not having an ongoing life crisis, and is having a blast after that ginger trip. Gallifrey's fine and no one can tell her otherwise. "Right," she says aloud to no one in particular. "Let's get a shift on!"

**Author's Note:**

> 13: everything's great, I love my fam, I'm feeling fucking superb, I am 100% okay, nothing's wrong, I rock at self care
> 
> Gallifrey, literally burning in the background: am I a joke to you?
> 
> Y'all, if you're depressed, go to therapy. Talk to someone. Don't bottle it up; you're just hurting yourself and others around you.


End file.
